I think that all parents worry about what will happen to their kid(s) if they were no longer around to care for them. I remember my mom telling me when I was younger that if her and dad were to die, my sister and I would go live with my aunt and uncle. I quickly changed the subject because I didn’t want to think about my parents dying. Now that I am older and have kids of my own, it’s still something that I don’t want to think about but know that I have to.
I normally think about the “what if something were to happen to me”, and not as much about the “what if something were to happen to Stacy…or both of us”, although those thoughts do pass through my mind from time to time. On July 23rd, those thoughts of what I would do if Stacy were to die came rushing back to the surface. Stacy found out that a fellow special needs mom, and friend, passed away the day before.
To protect their privacy, I will not be sharing their real names, but let’s call the mom Madelyn, her husband Doug, and their special needs daughter Lucy. Although Lucy is a year older than James, they did share a few classes together over the past couple of years. That’s how Stacy met Madelyn. Like Stacy is to James, Madelyn was the primary caregiver of Lucy. Doug works full-time like I do but travels a lot for work. For the most part, their family dynamic is pretty close to ours.
Now that Madelyn has passed, Doug has become the primary caregiver for Lucy, and it has gotten me thinking about what if it was me. What if Stacy had passed away and I was left to care for James. Could I do it? I’m pretty sure I could take care of James physically and medically, although probably not as good as Stacy does, but what about financially? If I were to become the sole caretaker of James, how would I be able to work full-time? And if I wasn’t able to work full-time, what would I do about health insurance?
These are the thoughts and questions that have been keeping me up at night lately. This has become kind of like a mission for me. I need to figure out a way to make sure that Stacy and James are taken care of I get killed in a car accident, and that I am able to care for James physically, medically, and financially if Stacy is no longer around. No idea how that’s going to happen, but I need to figure something out. I don’t want either of us to be in the situation where we’re trying to figure it out after it happens.